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My 2016 Wrestling Resolutions

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I admit, I procrastinated on this one, seeing as we are halfway through January. Forgive me, as I’ve been recovering from the Holidays, which included a wonderful pair of colds. That being said, I’ll make one of my New Years resolutions be “having the ’17 edition of this out sooner”. Without any further delay, I selected a bunch of WWE talent and have come up with some resolutions for each of them, as we all tend to do at the beginning of a new year.


A new push. Perhaps even a title reign again. Something to get herself noticed again, or to make people know that she’s not still around just because of who her daddy is.

The Miz:

This guy gets two. One, to find a new tailor/wardrobe person (or, buy a mirror!) and two, to find whatever it was that got him his title run, and go back to that well once again. Not saying he’s deserving of a title shot, but seeing guys like him, who held the heavyweight title and are now relegated to lame talk show host? It’s sad, kind of. Almost like if they gave David Arquette a title run.

Jack Swagger:

Speaking of going back to the well, here’s a guy who should be able to be more over. Big, talented, gifted athlete…but apparently prolific smoker of certain fringe items. Maybe not prolific, but busted either way. But again, he was capable enough that he rose to the top spot, though that seems like eons ago. He needs to get over his hump-something I thought he’d do in his program with Del Rio, but instead of Swagger taking the US Title, we got Kalisto. Perhaps he goes back to being a heel and takes it back?

Kurt Angle:

Fine, he’s not in WWE again. Yet.

But for his resolution? Agreeing to terms with Vince and company, and getting a farewell tour all his own.

Hulk Hogan:

One heck of an apology tour, and a road map back to WWE. It’s probably a long shot, but without a major competitor, it just feels odd not having Hogan out there shilling WWE Network, and it will be odd not having him at WrestleMania.


This one was easy. He has to resolve to get a better haircut (or a new barber). And maybe some vitamins, or a suntan. Spray tan works too.

Tyson and Cesaro:

To come back happy and healthy, and regain the WWE titles. Call me crazy, and nothing against the other teams in WWE. But these two had something special as a tag team, and as over as New Day is, I think getting this duo back would be a shot in the arm for the resurgent tag team division.

Becky Lynch:

For continued growth on her own, out of the shadows of the more prominent and heavily pushed Divas.

The McMahons:

Two resolutions. First, to realize that the show CAN succeed without them always being on TV. And, second, to find out a way to get Shane back in a program that ends up driving his family off of TV for at least a bit.

The Undertaker:

The Phenom gets two here as well. First, one last title run. He deserves one last chance to hold the gold.

For the second, having held that gold, allowing him to go out on top and make 2016 his final year in the ring. Not that I wish him to be gone, but I wish for him to go out on a high note, and with a bit of decent health left.

Who else in WWE deserves a good New Year’s resolution, and what would you call out for them?

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  • MikeLo #NewNation

    I miss the New Years Revolution PPV

  • Si Nicholls

    Kurts already on his retirement tour he’s over here in the UK at Rumble time

    • Bonkerz

      He said that he’s only retiring from TNA. He also said that this is not necessarily his retirement from wrestling. It’s quite obvious that he’s holding out for one last run in WWE.

  • PlanoStu

    It is pretty lame that the All American American couldn’t beat Del Rio but a tiny Mexican could. It’s almost as if Vince wants to punish Swagger for no real reason. The same 1 day run could have gone to Swagger

  • Thomas Øksne Elverhøi

    Bring back shane????

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