We go live from the Honda Center in Houston, Texas, for WWE TLC 2013 “Kickoff”.
Josh Matthews confirms this is the last time we see both the WWE Championship, and the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
The panel includes Mick Foley, Booker T and The Miz. They break down the main event, and Mick Foley is excited for both handicap matches and the main event, as well. Booker T is very excited, and shows us a graphic breakdown of both Cena and Orton’s championships and accolades.
The Miz breaks down Dolph Ziggler and Fandango, and brags about beating Kofi Kingston and says the winner must have killer instinct – just like himself, he proclaims. He picks Ziggler.
We go to the social media lounge, where Renee Young talks about the first TLC match, involving Edge & Christian, The Hardy Boyz, and The Dudley Boyz. We go back to the panel, and Foley talks about him booking the first ever TLC match. He also coined the phrase, “Tables, Ladders and Chairs – Oh my!”
We go to Raw recaps, with reviews of the feud between Daniel Bryan and The Wyatt family, as well as The Shield and CM Punk.
We go to a backstage promo with The Shield, with Ambrose declaring Punk will be beaten into a bloody pulp. Rollins says it does not matter what Punk thinks, and that he will not be able to divide them. Reigns says Punk is a liar, and that he has no chance tonight, and says there is another spear waiting for him. Ambrose says he is a man on conviction and beliefs, and says after tonight, he will believe in only one thing – The Shield.
Kofi Kingston approaches The Miz at the panel, and says he is tired of him talking trash. Miz laughs it off, and he gets slapped right in the face! Booker T and Mick Foley break up the panel brawl, with Kofi still furious.
We go ringside for our first bout, with our habitual broadcasters, Michal Cole, JBL, and “The King” getting us started.
Fandango vs. Dolph Ziggler
Fandango takes the mic to say the Texas line dance is nothing but rednecks and hillbillies sweating all over each other, amidst the “We Want Ziggler” chants.
They lock up, and Fandango drops Ziggler with a shoulder drop and taunts. Ziggler scores a dropkick as he gets back to their feet, and Fandango throws Ziggler overhead, and outside of the ring.
Back from commercial, Fandango has Ziggler in a chin lock. Ziggler hits the reverse suplex.
Ziggler with a splash in the corner, mounts him, and punches him ten times. He hits Fandango with a neckbreaker, and gets the two count. Fandango with the school boy, and he gets the 2 count. Ziggler hits the Fame Asser, and gets another two count.
Fandago plants Ziggler with an unorthodox suplex. Another two count for him. Fandango goes to the top rope, and Ziggler gets up right away and knocks him onto his crotch. Summer Rae with the distraction, and Fandango throws Ziggler off the rope. He hits the legdrop from the top, and gets the three count.
Fandango def. Dolph Ziggler
Back with Young at the social media lounge, she mentions a few tweets from the WWE Universe.
We go back to the panel, and Foley describes TLC as very demanding. Booker laughs about Kofi slapping the taste out of Miz’s mouth.
We go to a montage of the best world champions in history, involving Ric Flair, Harley Race, Dusty Rhodes, Stone Cold Steve Austin Shawn Michaels and Triple H.
We go back to the panel, and Booker picks Orton.
A limo pulls up, and Triple H steps out with his wife, Stephanie McMahon – and Vince McMahon.
The pay-per-view is next!
WWE TLC 2013 goes live, and we get the cold open – with Triple H and Stephanie making their way down ringside.
They stop at the ramp, and Stephanie says everyone in the house is a part of history. “Yes!” chants galore, and she plays it off as a champion vs. champion match. Triple H talks about Lou Thesz and Buddy Rogers, and that for 50 years those championships have been held by all of the greats. He says only one man will walk out of Texas the true champion. Stephanie says tonight, they will crown their first WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
The PPV kicks off with a promo video, involving champions and legends of the past, and of course, Cena and Orton.
Michael Cole says this could be the single most important night in WWE history.
CM Punk’s music hits, and we are kicking things off with a barnburner.
CM Punk vs. The Shield (3-on-1 Handicap Match)
We see highlights from Punk being attacked on Raw a few weeks back, and here comes The Shield from the crowd.
The Shield stare down Punk, and Punk begins with Ambrose. They lock up, and Ambrose escapes. Ambrose takes Punk’s back, and Punk stays out of The Shield’s corner, escaping. Headlock from Punk, and he throws Ambrose down. Tag to Rollins.
Punk takes a breather on the outside. Rollins goes to chase him, and Punk nails Ambrose off the apron, playing cat and mouse. Punk then goes after Rollins, and drills him in the corner with shoulder strikes and elbows. Neckbreaker from Punk, followed by another one. And another one. One count for Punk.
Rollins tags in Reigns, who gets major heat. Stare down from both men. Punk starts to punch him out in the corner, but Reigns picks him up by the neck and throws him in The Shield’s corner. Punk fights off the other two on the apron, but gets drilled by Reigns. Tag to Rollins, who attacks the lower back and scores a neckbreaker. Tag to Ambrose, who lays down an elbow drop. Two count for the U.S. champ. Ambrose works the midsection with kicks. Irish whip by Ambrose into the corner, and in comes Reigns. Big clothesline from Reigns.
Reigns taunts Punk, but Punk fights back with a slap – but gets clotheslined and thrown to the outside. Reigns follows, and postures up for a spear, but misses Punk and flies over the announce table. The doctors check up on Reigns, who looks out of it. Reigns stumbles back in the ring, and Punk attacks Reigns left eye – which is damaged after his face hit a chair. Reigns throws Punk over the top rope, and Reigns eye looks puffy.
Tag to Rollins, and Punk is back in the ring delivering punches. GTS attempt by Punk, but Ambrose interferes, and Reigns nails Punk with another clothesline. Rollins goes for the GTS, and Punk throws him off, sending him crashing to Ambrose on the apron. Big kick by Punk and a two count. Punk continues the onslaught on Rollins, with a swinging neckbreaker. Flying knee by Punk, followed by a clothesline. Cross body from the top, and goes for the Anaconda Device. Ambrose interferes, and tags the hurt Rollins.
Ambrose pits Punk onto the top rope, but Punk headbutts him off. Elbow drop by Punk from the top, but only gets the two count. Punk calls for the GTS, and hits the GTS on the interfering Rollins. Ambrose goes to attack Punk, but Reigns goes for the spear and accidentally drills Ambrose. He throws Reigns onto the outside, and pins Ambrose.
CM Punk def. The Shield
Punk runs up the entrance ramp, staring at Rollins and Reigns, who are hovering over a hurt Ambrose.
We go backstage to AJ Lee and Tamina being interviewed by Renee Young. AJ makes fun of Young, and says she is the only one “Diva” that matters, and says the WWE Universe is a joke.
AJ Lee vs. Natalya (WWE Divas Championship)
Natalya comes out first, followed by AJ.
Quick roll up by Natalya, and a one count. Headlock from Natalya. Overhead suplex from Natalya, and just a two count. Natalya works the arm, and hits a snapmare. AJ goes to the outside, and Natalya follows…but Tamina interferes. AJ tries to attack Natalya, but Natalya throws AJ into the barricade.
Natalya takes one last look at Tamina, and AJ attacks Natalya from behind. Back in the ring, AJ works a sleeperhold.
Natalya breaks free, but runs into a spinning kick. Two count for the champion. Guillotine from AJ. Natalya picks her up, and drives her into the turnbuckle. AJ with a kick to Natalya’s face a d drills her head into the turnbuckle. AJ misses the splash.
Natalya picks her up, but finds herself in a standing guillotine. Natalya rolls, and hits a dropkick to the face. Two clotheslines by Natalya, followed by two suplexes and a body slam. Sharpshooter by Natalya, and AJ cannot make it to the ropes. AJ somehow reverses out of it, and Tamina interferes on the apron. Black Widow by AJ, and Natalya rolls out of that one.
Clothesline by Natalya, and she tries to slap on the Sharpshooter. AJ secures the small package after a fist full of hair, and gets the three count.
AJ Lee def. Natalya (retains WWE Divas Championship)
Michael Cole reviews a few tweets about the main event, including one from Bruno Sammartino.
We go to the same championship montage they showed on “Kickoff” – it is quite good.
Out comes Damien Sandow, who takes the mic and makes fun of the Lone Star state – making fun of their expressions.
Big E Langston vs. Damien Sandow (WWE Intercontinental Championship)
Langston ducks a few clothesline, and counters the “You’re Welcome.” They lock up, and Sandow punches Langston after the break. Irish whip by Big E, followed by a splash. Overhead slam by Langston, and Sandow runs outside of the ring. Langston follows and nails Sandow with a punch. Sandow lures Big E into the ring post.
Two count from Sandow as they go back in the ring. Double axe-handles from Sandow, and he works a chin lock. Sandow attacks the back, and works the chin some more. Langston powers out and goes for the finisher, but Sandow hits him with a clothesline as he escapes. Two count for the intellectual.
“Elbow of Disdain” from Sandow, and gets a two count. Back to a chin lock, but Langston backs Sandow into the corner. Sandow hits him with a dropkick, though. Kickout from Langston.
Sandow has Langston in the corner, and Langston hits the electric chair as he powers out. Two stiff clotheslines from Langston, followed by a belly-to-belly. Langston with The Ultimate Warrior’s running body splash. Langston goes for the finish, but Sandow counters with a reversal. Langston goes for the “You’re Welcome” and it gets reversed, with Langston hitting him with a flying splash. “Big Ending” from Langston, and that is all she wrote.
Big E Langston def. Damien Sandow (retains WWE Intercontinental Championship)
Mr. McMahon approaches Randy Orton backstage, and gives him a firm handshake with a smile. We don’t hear them speak, though.
We go back to the panel, and The Miz is absent. Foley is also wearing a Christmas hat. Foley chants erupt. They go to highlights of Kofi and Miz’s brawl. They announce Kofi and Miz will take part in a No Disqualification Match later on tonight.
The Real Americans make their way to ringside.
Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. The Real Americans vs. Rybaxel vs. Big Show and Rey Mysterio (Fatal Four Way Elimination Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship)
Out comes Mysterio, followed by his partner, Big Show. Then, Ryback and Curtis Axel. Out come the champions, Cody and Goldust.
The action begins with Cody and Ryback. They lock up, and Ryback sends him flying. Knee to Cody’s gut. Cody reverses a suplex, and hits Ryback with a dropkick to the legs. Tag to his brother, and Ryback sends Goldust in the corner. Tag to Axel, who dropkicks “The Bizarre One.”
Goldust regains his composure, and hits Axel with a dropkick. Hip toss to Goldust. Goldust tags in Show, and Axel starts to attack Show’s arm. Show throws him down, and delivers elbows to his shoulder. Big slap by Show in the corner. The crowd chants for one more, and Axel is in pain. They ask for one more, and Show slaps the hell out of Ryback.
Tag to Mysterio, but Axel drills him with a knee to the midsection, followed by clothesline. Tag to Ryback, who hits Mysterio with an punch from the second rope. Two count for the big guy. Tag to Axel, who attacks Mysterio’s back.
Mysterio breaks free, and both men collide at the center of the ring. Tag to Ryback, and Mysterio gets tagged by Goldust, who hits Ryback with a spinebuster and a clothesline. Ryback throws a boot Goldust’s way after Axel reverses, and Goldust rolls up Ryback for the pin. Rybaxel is eliminated.
Swagger in the ring, and he slaps a choke on Goldust. Swagger sends Goldust to the corner, and tags in Cesaro. Goldust gets thrown outside of the ring, and Swagger blasts Goldust with a clothesline on the outside. Back in the ring, Cesaro throws Goldust with his patented side slam.
Swagger gets the tag, and they choke Goldust with the second rope. Swagger with the bear hug. Goldust breaks free, and rolls up swagger for the two count. Goldust with a heavy right hand, followed by a springboard back elbow off the second rope. As Goldust tries to recover, Cesaro gets tagged in and sends Goldust for a “Giant Swing.” Swagger back in the ring now, and Swagger hits the “Swagger Bomb” off the second rope. Leapfrog Stomp from Cesaro who gets tagged in, and another two count.
Goldust counters Cesaro and kicks him off, but Swagger attacked Cody from the outside, so that Goldust cannot make the tag. Show throws Swagger over the barricade. Hurricanrana by Goldust, but he cannot make the tag. Goldust fights off Cesaro, and tags in Show. Face first goes Cesaro from mid-air, and Show signals for the Chokeslam. Swagger interferes, and gets kayoed. Knockout punch to Cesaro, and that is it for the Real Americans.
Show helps Goldust to his feet and shows great sportsmanship, according to Cole. Headlock from Goldust, and Show punches his gut to break him off. Shoulder tackle, and Goldust looks hurt. Show works the midsection in the corner. Goldust with the big boot and Goldust hits a reverse cross body from the second rope. Two count for Goldust. Show goes for the chokeslam, and Goldust reverses it into a DDT. Cody gets tagged in, and they hit Show with a double suplex.
Cody goes for the “Disaster Kick,” but he gets slapped mid-air. Tag to Mysterio, who goes to work on Cody. Sunset flip by Cody, and Mysterio kicks him right in the face. Kickout by Cody. After a series of reversals, Cody hits the “Disaster Kick,” but only gets a two count. Cody goes for Cross Rhodes, but Mysterio reverses for the 619. Goldust interferes, and he gets the 619. Show sends Goldust into the barricade. Cody flies onto Show on the outside, and Show gets sent into the post after a reversal. Cody goes for a dropkick off the top, but it gets reversed into a powerbomb from Mysterio. Two count. Mysterio sets him up for the 619, but Cody catches him. Mysterio flies around him, but Cody catches him for the “Cross Rhodes.” Three count for Cody.
Cody Rhodes & Goldust def. Big Show & Rey Mysterio, Rybaxel, and The Real Americans (retain WWE Tag Team Championship)
All four men shake hands after the match.
Backstage, The Prime Time Players, Los Matadores and The Great Khali play with WWE’s new Brawling Buddies. Vickie Guerrero and brad Maddox interfere, and they get left alone with their toys. Kane shows up, and just stands there. He picks up the Brodus Clay toy, and smashes the John Cena one.
Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth
Out comes the Funkadactyls, followed by Brotus and Tensai. Truth comes out with Xavier Woods.
R-Truth attacks Brodus, and sends him into the corner. Elbows by Truth in the corner, and dropkick off the second rope. Two count for Truth.
Truth follows Brodus onto the outside, and rolls him back into the ring. Truth goes to the top rope, but Brodus swings the ropes. Brodus kicks Truth’s body a few times. Brodus goes for the Banzai Drop. Brodus is getting heat. Elbow drop by Clay.
Sweet T is telling Brodus to cover Truth, but Brodus is attacking truth. Haymaker by Brodus. Punch to the shoulders from Clay. Brodus goes for a suplex, and starts to mock Truth. Brodus charges Truth in the corner. Anoter splash from Brodus. Thrown to the outside, Brodus gets in Tensai’s face.
Clay pits Truth upside down in the corner, and is simply tearing Truth apart. Tensai on the apron, and he argues with Clay. Tensai walks out, and Brodus argues with the Funkadactyls. They leave too. Big kick from Truth, and he scores the three count off the roll up.
R-Truth def. Brodus Clay
Vince and Cena are in the back, and McMahon gives Cena the same handshake and smile he gave Orton – wishing Cena good luck.
Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz (No Disqualification)
Kofi comes out first, followed by The Miz. The bell sounds, and Kofi charges Miz. And Kofi exchange blows in the corner. Kofi charges Miz on the outside. Kofi sends Miz back to the ring, and to the outside, and Kofi tries to charge him through the second rope but they crash heads. Kofi spears Miz into the barricade.
Kofi goes for “Trouble In Paradise” while Miz is against the post, and Kofi misses – hurting his ankle. Miz sends Kofi back inside the ring, and gets the two count.
Miz taunts Kofi, and goes for the injured leg. Miz slaps Kofi a few times. Miz aggressively attacking Kofi on the outside, and rolls him back into the ring for a two count. The match is quite slow. Miz unties the turnbuckle.
Miz goes for the “Skull Crushing Finale,” but Kingston reverses with a roll up, and only gets the two count. Clothesline from Miz. Kofi dropkicks Miz after the former reality show star went to the top rope. Kofi gets Trouble In Paradise reversed, and fights off a Figure Four attempt and kicks Miz’s butt into the turnbuckle. Trouble In Paradise, and that’s it.
Kofi Kingston def. The Miz
We go to a commercial for “Tribute to The Troops,” and then we get a glimpse of the world titles suspended in the air. We go to a promo for the handicap match.
Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family (3-on-1 Handicap Match)
Out comes Bryan, followed by the Wyatts.
Bray sits in his chair, and Bryan rushes Rowan. Kicks to the leg from Bryan. Big elbow from Rowan. In comes Harper, and Bryan attacks the legs. Bryan stomps on Harper’s legs. Kicks to the chest from the “Yes!” man. Harper counters with a huge slap to the chest. He tags in Rowan, who attacks Bryan in the corner.
Bear hug from Rowan, who is rag dolling Bryan. Bryan fights out, but Rowan throws him face first on the mat. Two count for the Family. In comes Harper, who uppercuts Bryan in the corner. Bryan tries to fight back, but Harper hits him with a sitdown slam. Bray postures up, and here comes the leader.
Bray screaming at Bryan, that he could have helped him. Monster splash by Bray in the corner, who savagely attacks Bryan with punches in the corner. Bray hits Bryan with a suplex throw, and does the Exorcist walk. Bray tags in Harper, and they do a bit of double team.
Harper working a headlock, and tags in Rowan after tossing Bryan. Headbutt from Rowan. Fall away slam by Rowan. Punches in the corner from Rowan, and he tags in Harper, who nearly kicks Bryan’s head off with a big boot. Tag to Bray. More screaming from Bray, who says Bryan could have been like them. He extends his hand, and Bryan ponders it. Bryan kicks Bray’s hand and starts to fight back. Bray hits Bryan with a flying elbow, and tags in Harper. He tells him to finish it.
Monster powerbomb from Harper, but he only gets the two count. Bray gives Harper instructions, and misses a big boot in the corner. Bryan is “hulking up.” He sends Bray and Rowan off the apron. He sets up Harper on the top rope, and hits a reverse suplex off the top. Bryan with “Yes!” kicks to the chest, followed by a big one to the head. Bryan climbs to the top, and hits Harper with a headbutt. Rowan breaks up the count, but Bryan attacks him in the corner. Rowan is trapped in the ropes, and Bryan kicks his chest, too. In comes Bray, who gets tagged, but Bryan clears the ring and rolls up Bray for the two count. Bray swipes Bryan’s head, but as he whips him to the ropes, Bryan flies onto the outside and crashes into Harper. He sends Rowan into the steps. He gets back into the ring, and Bray starts to pound on Bryan. “Sister Abigail” by Bray, and that ends that.
The Wyatt Family def. Daniel Bryan
After the match, Bray pets Bryan’s head – and they stand above the superstar who remains out cold.
It is time for the main event – and the broadcasters thank Korn for the official theme song. Unreal that they still exist…
The panel discusses the main event, and we go to the main event promo.
We get one last shot of the titles, and out comes Orton, followed by Cena.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena (TLC Match for the unified WWE Championship & World Heavyweight Championship)
Justin Roberts begins the lengthily introductions, and both men get their fair share of boos.
The crowd is completely divided. They lock up, and Cena drags Orton in the corner. Takedown from Cena, and he works the side headlock.
Shoulder tackle from Cena as they get up, and Cena goes for the tables. Orton attacks him, and brings a ladder into the ring. He posts it up, but Cena kicks Orton in the gut and hits him with the ladder. Cena goes and gets a table.
Cena postures the table in the corner, and Cena throws Orton outside of the ring after a failed “Attitude Adjustment”. Orton brings a chair in the ring. Orton goes for the swing, and Cena stops it. Orton kicks Cena, and cracks him in the back with the chair. Cena rolls outside the ring, in pain. Orton misses a chair shot, but he cracks Cena in the back with another one. Orton goes for another, but hits the post. Cena going to town on Orton with the chair.
Cena puts a table up, and goes for the powerbomb. Orton escapes, and throws Cena into the steps. Orton mocking Cena, and he grabs a ladder. Orton dives into the ring, and sets up the ladder. Orton starts to climb, and Cena stops him. Orton has one hand on the title, but Cena brings him down. Dropkick from Orton.
Orton working the body. The crowd is making a lot of noise. Orton punches Cena in the head a few times, and delivers a powerslam. Orton taking his time, picking apart Cena with some elbows and kicks. Orton brings in a chair, and a ladder, but as he makes his way back to the ring, Cena hits him with the ladder in the ribs. Cena starts to climb the ladder, and Orton starts to attack his back. Reverse suplex from Orton, who goes to get the chair.
Orton decides to grab the ladder and Cena ducks under the hit. Orton throws the ladder to the outside, and goes for the chair. He hits Cena in the back twice, and sets it up between the second and top turnbuckle. Cena revives, knocking Orton down with shoulder strikes, and as he goes for the “Five Knuckle Shuffle,” Orton kicks him in the head and throws him into the chair. Orton goes to the outside for another ladder.
Orton goes to climb the ladder, and Cena stops him. Cena punches him out, and grabs the ladder. He hits Orton with the ladder, and Orton crashes onto the table outside. Cena starts to climb, and clenches the titles. Orton runs into the ring, and drags him down – RKO from Orton. As they both get up, Orton headbutts him three times. Cena fights back, and clotheslines him onto the outside. Cena follows, and hits him with the steel steps. Orton gets back up, and Cena nails him with the steps once more. Cena steps back into the ring. Two tables are set up in the ring, and Cena brings in a ladder, too. He goes back for Orton on the outside, but Orton grabs the microphone and blasts him. Orton sends Cena’s heads crashing into the steel steps, and hits Cena with the microphone about ten times. Orton rips apart the Spanish announce table. This match is riveting so far.
Cena is struggling to get up, and Orton misses the punt. Cena gets up, and delivers an Attitude Adjustment on the Spanish announce table. Cena enters the ring, and sets up the ladder. He starts to climb slowly…Cena is showing fatigue, and Orton moves the ladder – Cena is hanging onto the titles. Orton grabs a chair, and hits him with it. Cena falls, and eats five more chair shots. Orton taunts Cena, and as he goes for another shot, Cena tackles him through one of the tables in the corner. Orton falls to the outside, and Cena is struggling to get up. Orton grabs handcuffs, which are hidden underneath the mats on the outside. Orton handcuffs Cena to the bottom rope.
With the key in hand, Orton is taunting Cena, who is on his feet trying to break free. Orton throws the key into the crowd. Cena is trying to break free, while Orton fetches an immense ladder from the entrance ramp. Cena is on his feet on the outside, and Orton drills Cena in the head.
Cena is frantically trying to break free, and Orton climbs the ladder. Cena rips the turnbuckle right off the post, and follows Orton. Cena drills him with the turnbuckle, Orton falls. Cena has one arm, and is hung up by the ropes. Orton trying to tug Cena down. Orton pulls Cena down, crashing into the table in the corner. Orton goes to climb the ladder, and stops to look at the crowd.
Orton grabs the titles, savoring the moment. Unified champion – Randy Orton.
Randy Orton def. John Cena (becomes the unified WWE World Heavyweight Champion)
Cena looks up and realizes he just lost. Orton hoists up both titles, as he beats Cena clean without any interference. However, Vince McMahon’s music hits…
Vince, Triple H and Stephanie approach the ring, clapping. Did they provide the handcuffs?
The four stand in the ring, as the brass claps for Orton. The PPV goes off-air.