From there we head to the garage as Kurt Angle arrives at the Impact Zone and tells the sound man that he wants his music played. Mr Music Man hits the button and out comes Kurt, and he’s got something to say before his ex-wife and her new husband come out here and tell lies about them. He says Karen was lying about it being about the two of them, it was about Kurt and Jarrett, and he came to TNA and told them that she’d be an asset to the company, but in a short period of time, she’d be hanging out with Jeff Jarrett whenever he turned his back. She claimed it was just about business and he had no evidence that there was anything going on while they were married, but Jarrett stuck it in his face every chance he got, and the one thing Jarrett and Karen can’t take away from him is his character. Kurt tears up and says he was a great husband and an incredible father, and if he’s guilty of anything, it’s that he didn’t spend enough time with his family, not because he was a bad father or husband, but because he wanted to get his family everything they dreamed of having. (crowd starts an Angle chant) He tells Karen they can do it the easy way (making amends, going their separate ways, and getting along for the kids) or the hard way (by provoking him and continuing to provoke him, in which case he will pull out every skeleton in her closet. He asks Karen what it’s going to be, and Jeff Jarrett’s music hits: Team Jarrett comes out and I guess they didn’t learn after what happened last week. Mike Tenay says the Jarretts aren’t here yet, but Team Jarrett tries to surround Angle and he goes through all of them by himself again, then yells at Jarrett and asks him if that’s all he’s got.
Okay, you knoew this was coming: here comes Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair looking really smug. They just stand at the top of the ramp and wait patiently while Orlando’s finest local indy workers impersonating cops come out to escort Kurt Angle out of the ring. Angle gives Bischoff and Flair a death stare, but leave quietly and of his own accord as Bischoff and Flair wave goodbye. Tenay informs us that as Kurt Angle is being led out of the building, Jeff and Karen Jarrett are about to arrive. Sit tight and we’ll find out what happens…after this commercial!
We’re back as the Jarrett’s arrive at the Impact Zone and the Unknown Cameraman informs them that Kurt Angle has been ejected from the building, to which the Jarretts feign disappointment and Karen says the real Kurt Angle will be revealed to all his fans tonight.
Time for our opening match…
Sarita vs Velvet Sky vs Mickie James vs Madison Rayne
Velvet & Mickie fight over who gets to start and they end up going after each other…for about five seconds until they each go after their respective archrivals. They all spill out to the floor briefly until Mickie takes Madison into the ring and smacks her around until Madison tags out to Sarita. Mickie with a spinkick to the midsection of Sarita and a flapjack. Velvet tags herself in and spears Sarita, then starts ramming her head into the mat before just screeching in her face. Madison grabs at Velvet from the outside and Velvet piefaces her, but Sarita nails her from behind and chains together several hiptosses. Velvet ducks a clothesline and gets a spinning flying headscissors, but Madison comes in and nails Velvet then takes a shot at Mickie. Madison and Sarita try to double suplex Velvet but Mickie blocks and they take them both out. Sarita goes for a wheelbarrow move but Velvet turns it into an armdrag and Sarita goes to the floor as Mickie gets a neckbreaker and then goes to the top rope, but Tara came out of nowhere and knocked Mickie out with her cast. Sarita and Velvet wind up back in the ring and crash head-to-head. Madison is the only one left standing and she preps the glove, but Madison accidentally nails Sarita and Mickie gets an O’Connor Roll for the win.
Winner: Mickie James
Guess who’s in line for another title shot? Madison, Tara, and Sarita all stand around blaming each other while Mickie walks off looking victorious.
Beer Money are backstage warming up and saying that they got the last laugh on Anderson and RVD last week, and Roode asks Storm what he’s doing. Storm, who has been curling beer bottles, says he’s doing 12 ounce curls, but says that even though he acts goofy, they’re going to end it tonight with Anderson and RVD.
Kurt Angle is backstage, and he’s being…EJECTED!
Samoa Joe is backstage, telling someone I don’t recognize that he’s been doing a great job and just to keep his eye on him. Whoever it is is carrying a handheld camera and seems really pleased with his camera work.
Ric Flair comes out with Rob Terry (oh God no) and asks if there is any woman in here who wouldn’t want to go home with this man, and somewhere in this building Flair knows Matt Morgan is around. He says that there’s a new man on campus, and Flair’s the college President and he wants Morgan to come out and show that he has something to the Man.
Rob Terry vs Matt Morgan
Morgan rushes the ring, hits the Carbon Footprint, and pins Terry in about ten seconds.
Winner: Matt Morgan
Morgan goes after Flair on the floor and Flair chops him several times, but Morgan no-sells and chases him into the ring. Flair with more ineffective chops, including one off the ropes, and Flair falls on his butt backing away. Abyss runs in and nails Morgan from behind, then beats him down in the corner. Morgan ducks a shot and hits a discus clothesline and then a side suplex on Terry. He turns his attention to Flair and Abyss nails him again and then Terry recovers and joins in the beating as Flair low blows Morgan from the outside, but Morgan wipes Abyss and Terry out with a double clothesline and goes after Flair AGAIN. Terry clips Morgan’s knee from behind and he and Abyss again beat Morgan down, and Terry holds Morgan down while Abyss splashes him off the ropes. Flair comes in and stomps on Morgan’s groin, then Abyss and Terry hit a double chokeslam, and finally that’s enough to keep Morgan down.
We go to Mike Tenay and Taz, who discuss TNA’s recent tour of Japan, and Taz talks about how lucky he was to get the chance to work there during his own career. We then go to a video package looking at the tour and the show at the Tokyo Dome, and for more footage of the tour, go to tnawrestling.com.
Still to come tonight: Jeff Hardy faces Tommy Dreamer and Beer Money takes on Mr Anderson & Rob Van Dam.
We go backstage to AJ Styles and Frankie Kazarian, and Kazarian asks what’s going on with Bischoff. Styles says that’s not important, the X-Division Title is important and tells Kazarian to go out there and take care of business. No sooner has Kazarian left than Crimson comes out of nowhere and chokes AJ from behind, telling him that he’s got two more weeks and then THEY are coming.
We go out to the parking lot where Kurt Angle is still meandering around terrorizing the Impact Zone. What will he do next??
I know, he’ll send us back to the ring for our next match! (Nice segue, huh?)
X-Division Title Match: Frankie Kazarian vs Jay Lethal
Lethal slingshots Kazarian into the ring before the bell and goes right after him, unloading with chops and hitting the hiptoss/cartwheel/dropkick combo to send Kazarian to the outside. Lethal goes after him and continues the assault on the floor, nailing him with a clothesline and then rolling him back into the ring where he hits a springboard dropkick for 2. Kazarian goes to the eyes and hits a series of spinkicks and a leg lariat, but Lethal with the handspring elbow gets 2. Kazarian tries to escape the ring, but Lethal grabs the ankle and pulls him back in, hitting the Lethal Combination and then going up top for the Macho Man elbow. He hits it and Kazarian kicks out at 2, a feat only ever accomplished by the likes of Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. Kazarian rolls out to the floor and lethal goes after him, but he’s dead weight so Lethal has to haul his limp form back up onto the apron, but suddenly Kazarian reveals that he was playing possum and gouges Lethal’s eyes. Lethal comes in with a sunset flip but Kazarian holds the ropes and referee Jackson James doesn’t see it and counts 3.
Winner: Frankie Kazarian
Lethal is understandably distraught with that decision as Jackson James again raises Kazarian’s hand on the ramp.
Ken Anderson is backstage and says he’s got to face Jeff Hardy in two weeks, he’s got to face Beer Money tonight, and he thought that he and RVD had them last week and got cracked. RVD asks how he’s supposed to concentrate because he can’t even get Jeff in the ring, and Tommy Dreamer says that he’s got Jeff for the first time ever tonight and he’ll soften him up for both of them. They argue over who’s going to take Jeff Hardy out, then they agree they’ll all take him out.
Jeff and Karen Jarrett gleefully prance through the back on their way to the ring as Kurt Angle continues pacing around outside…and then someone lets him in. DRAMA!
Okay, it’s time for what we’ve all been waiting for: it’s time for Karen Jarrett to spill her guts. I mean tell her story, not actually vomit in the ring, because that’d be really weird and disturbing. Jarrett introduces a loving wife, caring mother, and somebody as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. But we are also witnessing a victim of Kurt Angle, and now he’ll turn it over to his wife Karen Jarrett. She gives him a kiss as she takes the mic, and says that she had a statement prepared, but after arriving at the Impact Zone she heard some of the comments her pathetic ex-husband made earlier, and she wants to respond to them. He’s right, her husband is part owner of this company, and guess what that makes her? And as for her character, she takes us back to 1997 after he won his Olympic gold medal and he was a lost little puppy who had nowhere to go. He worked his entire life for that moment- oh wait, Kurt Angle comes in the ring and gives Jeff Jarrett the Olympic Slam. Karen goes to hit Kurt with her shoe but instead they just stare each other in the eye and then…SHE SLAPS HIM. She looks like she’s been waiting a long time to do that. Kurt continues stalking her and she yells at him as Jeff sneaks up from behind and low blows Kurt. Jarrett continues to rain blows down on Kurt while talking smack to him and Karen stands there mocking him while flipping her hair. What a great heel. Jeff tells Kurt to get up, and when he does Jeff kicks him in the command center again. Finally the Jarretts decide that they’re tired of humiliating Angle and leave, with Karen yells “Poort Kurt! Did you like that, Taz?” at the announce booth as we go to commercial.
We see a recap of what just happened with Kurt Angle and the Jarretts, and then we go backstage to Kurt Angle as he again trashes the backstage area.
Back to the ring…
Tommy Dreamer vs Jeff Hardy
Looks like Jeff Hardy’s been raiding MVP’s closet again. Hardy with a boot to the gut and a series of rights, but misses a dropkick and Tommy legdrops him in the tommy gun, then clotheslines him to the floor and follows him out with a running clothesline off the apron. Dreamer continues working Hardy over on the floor but Hardy armdrags him off the apron and onto the floor. Hardy tosses Dreamer into the ring and comes in with a double axhandle, then does an awesome move I’ve never seen before where he swung Tommy out of the corner by the legs and dropkicked him in the zamboni on the way down. That was pretty cool! Dreamer comes back with a series of clotheslines and a backdrop, and Hardy goes for the Whisper In The Wind but Dreamer moves out of the way and then comes off the second rope with…nothing, because Hardy kicked him in the gut on the way down and went for the Twist Of Hate, but Dreamer escaped and hit the Death Valley Driver and went for the cover, but Hardy got his foot on the rope and then, as Dreamer stepped over him, rammed the middle rope up into Dreamer’s submarine and then hit the Twist Of Hate for the win.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Kurt Angle is wandering around backstage, and for some reason hasn’t been kicked out yet. Up next: Beer Money faces Ken Anderson & Rob Van Dam!
Pope is backstage on his cell phone saying he just got home from Abu Dhabi and sees…someone on a laptop and gets off his call. He says he has some overseas transactions he needs to take care of and wants to use the laptop. The guy says as soon as he’s done sending his email, but Pope is insistent he needs to make arrangements. He won’t get off his laptop, so Pope uses his cell phone to call the guy and make him wander off to take the call, then stole his laptop.
We go backstage to a still choking AJ Styles who tells Ric Flair that on 2/3, THEY are coming. Flair tells AJ once again that THEY are them, and they already are here. He tells AJ to hand him his coat, and AJ picks it up…and there’s a Smirnoff underneath. Flair laughs his but off and says he’s been waiting six months for this, and tells AJ that he’s been iced. AJ has trouble getting it down, and suddenly Kurt Angle walks in and nails AJ from behind with a baseball bat and then goes after Flair, dropping the bat and choking Flair. He tells Flair that he’s heading to the Impact Zone and Jeff Jarrett had better meet him there, and it won’t be a wrestling match or an exhibition, but Jarrett had better show or he’s coming after Flair.
It’s main event time!
TNA World Tag Team Champions Beer Money vs TNA World Champion Ken Anderson & Rob Van Dam
Roode kicked RVD in the gut and started beating him up in the corner, but RVD nails him back and hits a pair of spinkicks and a standing moonsault for 2. RVD with the rolling monkeyflip attempt, but Roode blocks and sits RVD on top, where he gets a leaping rollup for 2. Anderson tags in and runs Roode over with a clothesline for 2, then Roode got a knee to the gut and tagged Storm in, but Storm didn’t fare much better as Anderson hit a hiptoss and a back elbow before putting the boots to Storm in the corner. Anderson with a spinning neckbreaker on Storm for 2 then whips Storm hard to the corner, but misses the charge and Roode nails Anderson from the apron and tags in. Roode stomps away on Anderson as Mike Tenay points out that Jackson James is the referee for this match, and Roode gets a running kneedrop for 2. Storm tags in and gouges at Anderson’s face, then rakes the eyes, then tries a big charge and gets backdropped to the apron, but hits the ROH Leaping Enziguiri ™ and tags out to Storm, who stomps on Anderson’s gondola while RVD was distracting Jackson. Roode with a stiff right but Anderson responds with one of his own and goes for the Mic Check but Roode escapes so Anderson hits a DDT instead. Anderson makes the hot tag and RVD comes in with kicks, forearms, and a spinkick to Storm, a backdrop to Roode, and then leaps to the top rope and hits a top rope jumpkick on Storm and goes for Rolling Thunder, but Roode grabs the ankle to distract RVD while Storm comes up behind and hits a BIG lungblower for 2. Anderson blocks a double suplex attempt on Anderson and fights to the outside with Roode while RVD and Storm go at it in the ring. RVD with the stepover spinkick and then goes up top for the Five Star Notebook Splash, Roode tries to stop him but RVD kicks him off and hits the splash. He goes for the cover but Jackson Jackson He’s Our Man is outside being distracted by Jeff Hardy as Matt Hardy sneaks into the ring and hits the Twist Of Hate on RVD, allowing Storm to cover RVD and get the win.
Winners: Beer Money
The Hardys stand in the aisle looking really pleased with themselves as RVD shoots them a death glare.
Backstage, Brian Kendrick talks about how he knows what it’s like to be eaten by anger and calls Bully Ray by his old name Brother Ray, and Ray corrects him. Kendrick says he doesn’t need to bully him, and suggests yoga so Ray can learn breathing techniques and realign himself. Ray asks if he did it right, then shoves Kendrick into the lockers and says he thinks he did it right.
We go back to Eric Bischoff’s office as Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett freak out over Kurt Angle, but Eric Bischoff says he has them covered and tells Jarrett to go to the ring.
Brother Devon comes out to the ring and says instead of shoving people into lockers, he should bring his big ass down to the ring so he can finish what he was doing by whipping his ass. Bully Ray comes down the ramp, but won’t come into the ring and dares Devon to come out after him. Suddenly, Brian Kendrick comes running out from the back in his underwear and nails Bully Ray, then tosses him into the ring with Devon. Ray gets the chain from his wallet and wraps it around his fist, but Devon gets several shots in and Ray drops the chain and goes down. Devon gets the chain and stalks Ray, but once again security runs in and pulls Devon off, opening him up so Ray can nail him, then Ray lays out security and grabs a chair from ringside. He puts Devon’s head in the chair Pillman-style, then takes the chain and whips the chair with it. Ouch.
Kurt Angle is backstage, and…that’s right, he’s…WALKING!
When we come back from commercial, Kurt Angle is in the ring waiting for Jeff Jarrett, and of course he needs music to come down for a fight. Jarrett comes out in his ring jacket, flanked by Gunner and Muffin, and stretches before sending Gunner & Muffin into the ring to get Angle. Predictably, Angle goes through the both of them by himself and continues to lay a pretty lengthy beatdown to both guys until Muffin gets in a heavy shot from behind and chokes Angle out with his boot. NOW Jarrett comes into the ring and starts taking shots at Angle, and has Gunner hold Angle so he can take more free shots. Angle ducks a shot and Jarrett nails Gunner, then Angle tosses both Gunner & Muffin and then grabs Jarrett in a rear naked choke and grapevines the legs, and Jarrett’s not going anywhere. Karen Jarrett comes down to ringside and yells at Angle to stop and tries to drag Jarrett out of the ring (unsuccessfully, as you might imagine), and suddenly almost the entire Immortal/Fortune group comes in and beats Angle down 745782134578234758-on-1. Abyss comes staggering out of the back and the rest of the group motions for him to join them in the ring, but suddenly he collapses to his knees and falls on his face…with Janice wedged in his back. Crimson comes out in a fancy mobster suit and warns Immortal that on February 3rd…they’re coming. They all spend so much time paying attention to Crimson that Angle pops back up and goes after Flair, putting him in the anklelock until Immortal drags him out to safety on the floor.