Raw in a Nutshell: 20 Years in the Making

This week’s episode of Raw kicked off as so many others have: with Michael Cole boasting that it’s the “longest running weekly episodic program in television history.” But this time, Cole’s catchphrase seemed more poignant than annoying, given the two decades of history behind it. After a montage of all the opening segments of Raw since 1993, the show offered three hours that bounced between self-deprecating nostalgia (Bastion Booger all!) and deepening current feuds. According to Vince McMahon, more than four billion viewers have seen Raw since its inception, and surely a million or so more were added to that tally this week. Here’s a look at the highlights and lowlights of another milestone episode of the show that has defined televised wrestling for a generation.

 

Surprise of the Night: Wade Barrett scored a clean, unambiguous victory over Randy Orton, proving that the Viper will occasionally put someone else over. Another step in the right direction for Barrett, who has the makings of a main event player.

Commentary Lines of the Night: It was a good night for zingers from the commentary table, with a few standouts including:

“This is what would happen if Disco Inferno and Aretha Franklin had a kid.” — JBL on Brodus Clay.

“The prominent proboscis suffered a little damage there!” — Jerry Lawler, channeling the anatomical expertise of Gorilla Monsoon, in reference to Wade Barrett’s nose.

“Look at the walrus. I wonder if CM Punk pays Paul Heyman with a weekly paycheck, or just tosses him a fish every once in a while.” — Jerry Lawler on Paul Heyman.

Wrestler Line of the Night:   “I like that he can set things on fire by lowering his arms somehow.” — Daniel Bryan describing what he “likes” about Kane.

Chairman Line of the Night: “I’m a certifiable iconic genius!” Truer words were never spoken by Vince McMahon. His humility could use some work, though.

Biggest Storyline Advancement: Not much. With the focus on 20 years of Raw nostalgia, relatively little thought was given toward the future. The Rock and Punk continued to fan the flames of their upcoming Royal Rumble match, and Del Rio further antagonized the Big Show. For the most part, though, the WWE machine remained in a holding pattern.

WTF Moment of the Night: WWE unveiled a new commercial for the Royal Rumble, in which a pub full of attractive young people — male and female in equal proportions — chatter excitedly about the upcoming pay-per-view. This has has never happened in any bar, anywhere.

Jobber(s) of the Night: Sadly, Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes. After weeks of momentum, and some of the most entertaining promos on the show, Rhodes and Sandow were both handily dispatched in singles matches against Kane and Daniel Bryan, respectively. The Rhodes Scholars lasted longer in a skit with Dr. Shelby than they did inside the ring.

Logic Fail of the Night: The referees at ringside during the steel cage main event were unusually lax about letting the cage door remain open for long stretches, rather than locking it up (as is tradition in cage matches). A wide-open door kind of negates the point of a cage match, since it’s not trapping anyone inside. But it did allow for both Cena and Ziggler to get clobbered in the head with the swinging door, so it worked out nicely for fans.

Botch of the Night: When John Cena defeated Dolph Ziggler in the main event, Jerry Lawler emphatically declared the winner… on his second attempt: “Dolph Ziggler has done it!  I mean, John Cena has done it!”

Holy Sh** Moment of the Night: Dolph Ziggler and John Cena took an awkward looking tumble from the top turnbuckle, landing in an pretzeled heap. Ziggler took a number of other big falls from the cage — and, in true Ziggler fashion, sold it all like a boss.

Surprise Cameo of the Night: Although they didn’t reappear in person, a cringe-inducing video package reintroduced fans to the likes of Naked Mideon, Mantaur, Man Mountain Rock, stuttering Goldust, Max Moon, Aldo Montoya, Duke the Dumpster Droese, and a host of other bad ideas.

Best Match of the Night: Dolph Ziggler versus John Cena in a steel cage, hands down. Although this so-called “main event” obviously played second fiddle to the “Rock Concert,” it offered the kind of action fans have come to expect from Ziggler (and, to a somewhat lesser extent, from Cena). Some well-timed interference by Big E Langston and AJ Lee added to the mayhem.

Worst Match of the Night: Although it was a safe bet that the rematch between Eve and Kaitlyn would be a shoo-in for this (dis)honor, the duo actually put on a pretty impressive, high-impact match featuring some innovative offense and near falls, making it one of the better matches of the show. So the worst match: Kane versus Damien Sandow, for essentially being a quickie squash.

Best Sign at Ringside: “Restroom Break,” held aloft during the Divas match. To be fair, though, the sign was less fitting this week than usual, since the Divas pulled off a respectably solid match.

Best Chant of the Night:  Although the “Si! Si! Si!” chant has erupted in the past, the resounding chorus from the Houston crowd proved that Alberto Del Rio’s face turn is now complete. Then again, a few fans were also chanting “SUPER DRAGON” throughout the show, which should have brought a smile to fans of Botchamania.

Tweet of the Night: @WWECreative_ish: “It isn’t at all disturbing that Big E Langston has more cleavage than @WWEAJLEE #RAWTonight”

Overall highlights: A surprisingly entertaining Divas match; an excellent steel cage main event between Ziggler and Cena; plenty of fun nostalgia from 20 years of Raw; a few genuinely funny one-liners by The Rock (mixed in with plenty of unfunny ones); Ric Flair elbowed his jacket.

Overall lowlights:  Considering it was the 20th anniversary episode, some more in-person cameos by former Raw superstars would have been welcome; The Rock continued his Brahma-bullying ways with petty insults that are the antithesis of WWE’s anti-bullying crusade; the show offered very little build-up toward the Royal Rumble, let alone the so-called Road to Wrestlemania.

Stars Tagged In This Post:
AJ Lee, Alberto Del Rio, Big E Langston, Big Show, Brodus Clay, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Goldust, iMPACT, Jerry, Jerry Lawler, John Cena, Kaitlyn, Kane, Michael Cole, Paul Heyman, Randy Orton, RAW, Ric Flair, Royal Rumble, Sting, The Rock, Vince McMahon, Wade Barrett, WrestleMania, WWE