Jericho names the 11 worst album titles of all time

11. REO Speedwagon – You Can Tune a Piano But You Can’t Tune a Fish

“I would never buy a record with that title. I don’t care if “Stairway to Heaven,” “Running with the Devil,” frickin’ “Iron Man” and “Master of Puppets” were on it. Anybody who has this in their collection….an LP maybe, fine. Maybe your parents bought it for you or you got it at a garage sale when you were a kid because it was a dollar. If you actually have this on CD or bought thins on iTunes, you should lined up against the wall and executed mafia style. And Kevin Cronin, if I ever see you, you’re going to pay the price for this one.”
- Chris Jericho

10. Blink 182 – Take Off Your Pants And Jacket

“This is just very sophomoric and very much beneath Blink 182’s talent level. It’s just so stupid. ‘Take off your pants and jacket. Ha ha ha! See what we did?.Hee hee hee.’ And it’s done. You know it’s hardly like a classic album title, like a Darkside of the Moon or Led Zeppelin IV – there’s four versions of this crazy record. You know Ride the Lightning is such a great visual image. Take Off Your Pants and Jacket is not a great mental image. It’s the last thing I want to think of when I think of Blink 182 is them dropping their trau on stage and having a circle jerk.”
-Chris Jericho

9. Extreme – Saudades de Rock

“You can’t pronounce it. You don’t know what it means. It sucks. It’s Extreme trying to be cool and funky and just being completely cryptic and archaic. I didn’t buy the record (and I have every other Extreme record) just because of the title.”
-Chris Jericho

8. U2 – How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb

“Bono walks the line sometimes of being so pretentious as we saw during the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when he was doing this big long monologue and then Springsteen yells out “Look, can we just have some fun up here or what?” And that’s it. Bono gets on his tangent. He’s a great entertainer. He’s in one of the best bands in the world. But you know the difference between How to Dismantle and lets say The Unforgettable Fire is that The Unforgettable Fire is so mysterious and cool and vibey. This is an attempt to be pretentious.”
-Chris Jericho

7. Raven – Stay Hard

“I love Raven. But back in 1985 when it was all about sex and rock, even this was too much. Stay Hard. You could never show your mom a record that said Stay Hard. And when you listen to the actual tune: ‘Stay hard, stay wet, stay hungry.’ That’s the chorus. I was 14 and I found it immature. I think maybe if you were five maybe you would get into it. This is Wacko wearing a hockey helmet, shooting fireworks off his drumsticks playing a song called “Stay Hard.” God, this is why Raven didn’t make it. At one point Metallica, Raven and Anthrax toured together. Metallica and Anthrax went on to do bigger and better things – Raven did not, because of the album title, Stay Hard. I don’t even want to talk about the album cover.”
-Chris Jericho

6. Ozzy Osbourne – Soul Sucka

“This is the worst album title of all time. Diary of a Mad Man, No More Tears, The Damage is Done… you know Black Rain, even that was kind of cool. Bark At The Moon…Soul Sucka?! Maybe Soul Sucker, even though that’s still kind of stupid. But, Soul Sucka?!
Now, I envision Ozzy with his hat on sideways, wearing pants to the ground, big Ozzy medallion and a gold grill. It’s the worst example of some guy in Ozzy’s world going, “Hey Ozzy, this’ll be contemporary and the kids will dig it: Soul Sucka.” And Ozzy says, “OK, man, sounds good.” If Zak was still in the band, the album would not be called Soul Sucka.”
-Chris Jericho

5. Loudness – Heavy Metal Hippies

“Loudness is one of my top ten favorite bands of all time. I love Loudness. And they always went for the weather titles: Thunder in the East, Lightning Strikes, Hurricane Eyes. And then, right before this record came out they had an album called, Loudness Loudness. And it was like, the best Loudness record ever. It was only in Japan, but it was so cool and heavy. And next they came out with Heavy Metal Hippies, which, once again, is just a terrible album title. How can you do an interview – let’s say I’m in my office in 1993 talking to metal heads and saying that with a straight face. And this is coming from a guy in a heavy metal band called Fozzy.

Heavy Metal Hippies is way beyond it. The album was bad. The album cover was bad. There were like smiley faces with long hair and a headband. There was just no reason for it. And you can’t even excuse the fact that they’re Japanese, because they knew better. They know what English means. “
-Chris Jericho

4. Iron Maiden – Virtual XI

“Once again, you got Powerslave, you got Peace of Mind, Number of the Beast – some of the greatest album titles of all time. No Prayer For The Dying, Fear of the Dark, that were just so cool. Even the X Factor, I got. Virtual XI, and there’s some Roman numerals and OK, I got it, it’s their eleventh record. But, what does that even mean. Virtual XI makes no sense. The cover was bad, the album was atrocious, the title – it all stems from the title. If you have a good title, everything falls into place. If you have a bad title, everything falls apart.”
-Chris Jericho

3. Metallica – Load

“Once again: Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, even The Black Album is cool because it’s a derivative of The Beatles’ White Album. They cut their hair, and started playing this pseudo-sludgy grunge rock bullsh*t. It’s a no-brainer. It’s a softball. It’s a load alright. It’s a load of sh*t. And I was such a Metallica supporter. And I thought, at the time, that they’d made the album Load, that was the word that came up when you put a CD into the CD player. I want an explanation from Lars Ulrich right now as to why they called it Load. I want it. I expect him to send it to me.”
-Chris Jericho

2. Helloween – Rabbit Don’t Come Easy

“Once again, Helloween has always been a little weird. They’ve got this stupid German sense of humor. It’s not an English sense of humor where everybody can find it funny. You know, when The Office came out with Ricky Gervais you may not be able to understand it, but you got the concept of why it’s funny. There’s never been a German comedy ever. There’s never been a German comic ever because their idea of a funny joke is Rabbit Don’t Come Easy. But the reason that this really bothers me more than anything is because the grammar is wrong. It should be Rabbits Don’t Come Easy. Not Rabbit. It makes even less sense than it would have if it was Rabbits.”
-Chris Jericho

1. Helloween – Pink Bubbles Go Ape

“Well, this one is the worst so far. Because they’d just released Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I and II. It was very cool, because it had that Dungeons & Dragons element. There’s two of them so there’s this big story. And there’s this whole fantasy element, and it’s very cool. And then the next one that comes out is called Pink Bubbles Go Ape. And I think they were trying to find the most un-heavy metal title ever. And they did that. But they shot themselves in the foot because no one bought that. Those previous two went Gold. Pink Bubbles came out, it went pewter. I think they sold twelve copies.”
-Chris Jericho

Credit: UGO.com