Last week’s 3-hour RAW caught me completely off guard. I knew that it would be three hours long, I just didn’t remember it. So, when I got off work last Monday, I didn’t come straight home. I ran some errands and got in about 7:45. I sit down at my computer, ready to hammer out a KJR. I turn on the television and RAW is already on. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t like to do things half-assed. That’s why there was no RAW KJR for last week. This week, I’m prepared.

CM PUNK!!!: “I am the best wrestler in the world.” Yes, you are Punk and thank you for using that word. I think CM Punk is playing with house money right now. He is at the end of his contract and WWE wants, no needs, to keep the guy on the roster because… HE IS THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD. He can say whatever the hell he wants. He can do whatever the hell he wants. Like make snow angels in the ring. Of course, because he’s a heel, he has to be embarrassed in the process, but I think Punk’s point is well across.

R-Truth/Christian/Miz: R-Truth got got by Little Jimmy. If ‘Little Jimmy’ is an acronym for WWE politics, then yes. I like the idea to put Christian and R-Truth together. One is a crybaby and one is a crazy person. Add The Miz to the mix, and this is a veritable threesome of losers – to WWE, that is. To me, they’re all very good competitors who deserve their opportunities, but are held down by the SUPERFACES. And, according to Teddy Long’s ruling, it only looks to continue tonight. By the way, I thought tonight was supposed to be Power to the People, yet both GMs have already made matches tonight.

Kingston vs Ziggler: Finally! The right choice! Albeit, there was really no wrong choice to be made for this match, 2 out of 3 falls was the absolute correct choice. We get three matches for the price of one involving two amazing superstars. How can this go wrong!? Well, having the first fall take place off-air is a start. It’s a 3-hour program for heaven’s sake. If they knew all three falls couldn’t be aired, why have this as an option? Ugh. At least the final fall was hotly contested. I like the fingertip near-fall. Even though it looked like a mistake on Dolph’s part, the announcers played it off well. I didn’t like the DQ finish for the final fall, though. Kofi Kingston is not a SUPERFACE. He can lose cleanly.

Punk vs Mysterio vs Del Rio: Well, the Punk vs Mysterio match last night was Aces, so adding another technical wrestler to the mix should be a good idea, right? Well, it all depends on the stipulation and a Falls Count Anywhere match takes a lot of the technical wrestling out of the question. Not completely, but a lot. Regardless, this was a decent match. I really didn’t care who amongst the heels won the match, but you knew it was gonna be Punk all along. I guess they’re saving Del Rio for Summerslam. As they should. All I could think during this match is how much I would love to see a Punk vs Del Rio submission match. That would be a dream match.

Punk, Part Two: Wow, talk about brutal honesty. I don’t want CM Punk to leave. I never want him to leave. But if he does leave, I’d love to see him leave with the WWE Title. Of course, the simple fact that he’s told us when his contract is up and that he is leaving, means he either won’t leave at all or won’t win the WWE Title on his way out. If Punk does leave, I hope it’s just to take a small sabbatical. I hope he doesn’t go anywhere else. I need CM Punk in WWE. I’m already down Chris Jericho and Edge. I can’t lose Punk, too. Who does that leave me then?

Bryan vs Rhodes: Well, it’ll leave me these two guys, both of whom I enjoy watching. A No Count-Out match, huh? I guess that’s better than a Paper Bag match, whatever the hell that is. If a Collegiate Rules match is what I think it is, meaning Amateur Wrestling, then once again, the WWE fans made the wrong choice. It’s hard to go wrong when dealing with two young talented superstars like Rhodes & Bryan are in the ring. Unless, of course, the match lasts for less than five minutes. If this rivalry continues and is made PPV-worthy, then this non-match is a good thing.

Power To The People: Cyber Sunday? Taboo Tuesday? Viewer’s Choice? No matter what you want to call it, WWE, it’s still a flat out lie. I have no doubt they’ll allow the fans to actually pick who faces the Divas Champion, or other trivial choices. But when it comes to the real money, like the main event, it’s not really up to the fans. We all know that. When it comes to decisions that really matter, WWE won’t leave it in the hands of their juvenile fans or their long-term fans, because either side will mess up what they really want to happen.

Divas Championship: The first bad choice of the day. Instead of Beth Phoenix, who actually has wrestling ability and who would be a valiant and valid champion, the ‘fans’ choose Kelly Kelly to be Brie Bella’s opponent. Therefore ensuring that regardless who wins, we all lose. Yes, I understand that Kelly Kelly is hotter than Beth Phoenix, but she’s not competing in a Bra & Panties match. If so, then Kelly was the absolute right choice. But in a match for the Divas Title, Beth Phoenix would have been the right choice. I can’t believe Kelly Kelly is the Divas Champion. This has to be the lowest point for the Divas division since, well, Brie Bella held it.

Bourne vs ???: Is it really a prize to face Evan Bourne? I guess for someone as huge as Mason Ryan, it is. I hold that the correct choice was Sin Cara. That matchup would have been AWESOME! But, I can see the draw of a David vs Goliath matchup. Everyone loves to see the underdog win and that was the thinking behind the fans choosing Mason Ryan. Unfortunately for them, WWE loves Goliath. Slow, stumbling Goliath. This wasn’t really a wrong choice, just not the best choice.

Mark Henry vs Kane: After the power display last night by Mark Henry, why on earth would WWE have an ‘Arm Wrestling Match’ as a choice for his match tonight. They need to take that power and build on it. They could legitimately and believably make him a threat. But no. WWE is more worried about the present than the future. WWE fans are idiots. Yes, I include myself in that. And everytime we make a stupid decision like this, we only feed into Vince’s idea that we want more entertainment than wrestling. Thank you to the small gathering of fans who were chanting “This is stupid!” It really was. What’s even more stupid is having to hear the announcers call an arm wrestling match. Thank goodness that Mark Henry ended it early. Slamming Kane through the announce table isn’t as impressive as Big Show, but it’s still nice to see. I liked Mark Henry’s pleas to ‘let him suffer, like I suffered.’ Who knew Mark Henry was an existentialist.

Dance Contest: Really? Seriously? Are you kidding me? What the fuck!? Not that I care about this at all, but shouldn’t the person who gets the least amount of ‘boos’ win? If more cheers equals a win, then less boos should be the same.

Six Man Tag Match: I was hoping for the Elimination Match because then it means that Cena and/or Orton might, just might, be pinned tonight. If it was One Fall to a Finish, there’s no way it would happen and a time limit match just gives WWE another outlet for an unnecessary dirty finish. I saw A-Ry’s elimination coming from a mile away. By the way, he was just as at odds with Orton when Miz & Orton were feuding. Yet everything seems to be okay now that he’s a babyface, huh? I figured once A-Ry was eliminated, the heels would be eliminated in succession. Sure, Orton was eliminated too, but he still got his obligatory RKO off to add to the victory. Typical.

Zack Ryder? Where the hell was Zack Ryder? This is a Power to the People episode of RAW. And the people want to see Zack Ryder. They chanted it last night. They’ve been bringing signs for him nightly. They beg for him on Twitter. Where was he on the one night when the people were supposed to be in charge?

Leave a Comment