smackdown clear

How is it that in a world full of technological advances, the one thing that science hasn’t found an answer to is how to negate the effects of rain and storm clouds on satellite television? I completely missed RAW because it drizzled here on Monday night. That’s right… drizzled. It wasn’t even a heavy rain. Everything from my cell phone to my wireless internet is run using satellite technology, yet they seem to still work during inclement weather. I just don’t get it.

Christian vs Sheamus: Nice physical and competitive match to start off a show. Coming off the past couple weeks of awkward opening promos, it’s about damn time they went back to opening shows with a good match. That’s how you whet the appetite of a wresting fan. I wish the ending was more believable than a roll-up, but I understand they had to keep Sheamus somewhat fresh enough to participate in the post-match beat-down.

Bryan vs Guerrero: I’m not liking how Daniel Bryan is being used as a pawn in the Sin Cara & Chavo Guerrero rivalry, but at least he is being used. I also don’t like Daniel Bryan’s matches having time limits involved. But again, at least he is in a match. I do, however, like the fact that Chavo is in a match on television without it being on Superstars or against Hornswoggle. I think Chavo Guerrero is an amazing talent and I’m glad he’s being given a push, although I’m not sold on it being against Sin Cara. This match and last week’s Sin Cara vs Daniel Bryan match are just two reasons why I think WWE should bring back the Cruiserweight Title. And there’s no one better to bring it back than the man who had perhaps the most memorable Cruiserweight Title reign before it was retired in Chavo Guerrero.

Khali vs Uso: Is it just me or does Jey Uso look exactly like The Great Khali… only about a foot and a half shorter and with a less defined jawline? The hair, the skin color – they look like they could be brothers or at least cousins. Speaking of brothers, I really like this ongoing storyline with Jinder Mahal, who I believe is being pushed as Khali’s brother or something like that. I don’t know, I just wanted to segue from one topic to another. Jinder Mahal looks the part and he’s pretty tall, as he could stand face to face with Khali. I’m sure Vince ejaculated a little bit during that staredown. Yes, this storyline has consequences – including Khali possibly making it back to the main event, but so far it’s been pretty interesting.

The Bella Sluts: The one bad thing about Kharma putting the divas division back in the spotlight is that it means all the divas are back in the spotlight, including The Bella Twins. Now, why either of them holds the Divas Title is beyond me. That promo they had on Smackdown tonight was cringeworthy. It makes no sense to have them bicker about one leaving the other in the ring to be crushed by Kharma, only for them to kiss and makeup later. The only way I’d believe that less is if they actually kissed and made up! Oh, and by the way, having Nikki Bella on Smackdown just days after she was crushed by Kharma on RAW does no favors for Kharma’s effect. Maryse, Alicia Fox, Layla, Eve Torres and Michelle McCool were all also taken out by Kharma and they’re nowhere to be found. Is Nikki Bella really tougher than them?

Six Man Tag Match: How lengthy does WWE think the average wrestling fans’ mind is? Shorter than three weeks, maybe? Because I remember when Ezekiel Jackson was dominating Kane & Big Show no less than a month ago and now he’s tagging with them and there is absolutely no ill-will? I don’t buy it. Also, a couple weeks ago I credited Big Show and Kane for fighting a war on two fronts. They’re in a rivalry with Nexus on RAW and The Corre on Smackdown. In my opinion, their rivalry with The Corre has the most history and should be the more important one. Instead, it’s CM Punk and Mason Ryan they’ll be defending the Tag Team Titles against at Over The Limit. This is only being done to make Mason Ryan look like the mega-heel that he’s not. He’s not ready. He looks lost in the ring everytime he’s in it and he can’t cut a promo to save his life. I guess it’s a good thing he has CM Punk as his hype man, but don’t get me started on how wasteful that is.

Rhodes & DiBiase: Weren’t these two just opponents last week? Didn’t Cody Rhodes take a few jabs at Ted DiBiase last week? Seriously, how short does WWE think our memories are? I said last week that it would be a bad idea to put Rhodes & DiBiase back together and right on cue, WWE does it. They are the best when it comes to doing the worst possible thing imaginable. I have to give Ted DiBiase credit for nailing a mexican accent, regardless of how racially insensitive it is. The way he said the word ‘hideous’ was spot on!

Orton vs Henry: Is there a reason why we are treating Mark Henry like he’s a main-eventer? He’s not. And why do the announcers keep saying this a ‘new attitude’ from Mark Henry? It’s not. We’ve seen this before… when Mark Henry was drafted to RAW last year and they tried to push him. It failed then and it’s going to fail now. Mark Henry is just not a main-eventer. Since this match was a DQ, I won’t put it on Orton’s win-loss record, but he’s still undefeated with no loss in sight in the near future.

‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage: I’m sure we’ve all heard or read the devastating news that Randy Savage died today. Maybe I should have lead with this instead of bitching about my satellite, but you know, priorities. I was not a fan of Randy Savage. Honestly, I never once saw the appeal of this guy. He was a big body with marketable commercial appeal, limited in-ring ability and a cache of catchphrases. Reminds me of a certain current WWE champion. Albeit, it’s always sad when someone dies, regardless of who it is. I hope Savage’s family and friends can find some peace in these trying times and I wish them all the condolences in the world.

By the way, I know Smackdown is pre-taped on Tuesdays and Savage only died today, but some kind of memorial could have been made this morning and added to the broadcast to commemorate Randy Savage’s passing. It’s been done before and WWE has probably the greatest graphics team in entertainment. They could have made something in short notice and it would have been pretty decent. I’m all but certain this was a no-call on the part of Vince McMahon, who hated Randy Savage something fierce. But here’s the kicker, I guarantee that come RAW, or probably the Over The Limit PPV this Sunday, there will be a memorial for Randy Savage shown. Then Vince will milk his passing for all the publicity and money that he possibly can, culminating in doing the one thing that he’s refused to do for the past five years – placing Randy Savage in the WWE Hall of Fame postmortem. The one thing that Randy Savage has wanted and couldn’t get, Vince is finally going to give it to him when he’s no longer around to enjoy it. That, my friends, is why Vince McMahon is an evil genius!

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